I've gotten a lot of questions the past few days about why IKEA recalled millions of MALM dressers this week, under pressure from the CPSC, parent advocates like myself, and other consumer safety groups.  
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Some people are praising IKEA for taking an unsafe piece of furniture that has killed several children and likely injured countless others, off the market (in the U.S. and Canada, it is not a worldwide recall), and offering refunds or exchanges in addition to the free anchor kits they offered last year, when the initial safety alert was issued about the MALM dressers easily tipping and posing a danger to children.  All of this after several children died when a MALM dresser fell on them.

Others are criticizing IKEA, and those who supported the recall, saying it's the consumer's responsibility to know that furniture can tip over and the parents' fault for not using the enclosed anchors.  They think the recall is unnecessary and unfair to IKEA. 

Still others believe it's common sense to secure all dressers (if only that were true), implying it's the fault of the parents if their child happens to suffer an injury or death from a tip-over.  

As luck would have it, I have answers!  Well, I have MY thoughts and opinions, and I'd like to share them with you. As a child safety advocate and a mom who knows what it's like to lose a child to a dresser tip-over. You might actually be surprised by what I have to say.

First, it's vitally important that people understand the tip-over risk does not apply only to IKEA furniture!  Nor does it apply only to dressers!  ANY furniture that is not appropriately secured to the wall has the potential to tip over on a child or even an adult, and cause injury or death. It doesn't matter how big, heavy, or how expensive or cheap it is.

As a parent who has lost a child to a dresser tip-over (not an IKEA piece, but a top of the line piece from a juvenile furniture manufacturer), I know first hand the very real dangers to your kids of not being aware that ANY piece of furniture, no matter how expensive or well made, can tip-over.  

Parents, consumers, anyone who has furniture in their homes must be educated that furniture tip-over is a very real and very common cause of injury and even death to children.  Every 15 minutes someone is injured in a tip-over accident. EVERY 15 MINUTES, of every hour, of every day, of every year.  On average a child dies from a tip-over every two weeks. It could very easily be your child if your furniture is not secured. 

Far too many people still think it can't or won't happen to them.  Read my FAQ page to see what I have to say about excuses I've heard for why people don't secure their furniture once they learn of the dangers.

Second, I do not believe that recalls are generally the answer, because then parents think that ONLY the recalled style or manufacturer of the specific piece of furniture that is recalled is unsafe, and may mistakenly think that they don't need to secure other furniture because they didn't hear about that on the news. That is very dangerous thinking, and part of the reason I did not support a recall at first.  

I still very much feel that any story about this recall needs to be accompanied by statistics and stressing that it is not just IKEA furniture that poses a risk. It needs to be coupled with education about the statistics and importance of anchoring all furniture to the wall to prevent tip-over. 

Third, I'd like to state for the record that I don't think lawsuits are generally speaking, helpful in raising awareness either, although part of the catalyst for this recall is the fact several children died from THIS dresser specifically falling on them.  By the same token, I don't judge those parents who have chosen to sue IKEA after their child was injured or died, as some families choose to do. Every parent must do what they feel is right for them and their family and they and only they can speak to what motivates them to pursue legal action. 

People often asked why I didn't sue the manufacturer of the dresser that killed my daughter.  Her dresser did not come with a warning label or anchors.  It was purchased in 1997.  Anchors were not sold in stores. There was no social media for me to learn about this danger. It was not taught in childbirth classes or baby care classes.  It wasn't in parenting books along with other childproofing tips.  

I was encouraged to sue Ragazzi after Meg died by several people.  I called them and reported what happened, but I had no intention of suing.  I just wanted them to be aware so they could make design changes, add warning labels, and sell their furniture with anchors.  I did not think suing would solve the problem.  It wouldn't bring Meghan back. It wouldn't be the best use of my time, knowledge, or message.  I knew the problem was much, much bigger than one manufacturer.  Keep in mind, this was over 11 years ago, before social media, before the level of awareness that exists today about the dangers of tip-overs. Social media and the internet has done a tremendous amount to raise awareness, and I'd like to think Meghan's Hope was a significant part of that movement. 

IKEA has deep pockets, is a very well known manufacturer, and is loved for their very popular, inexpensive furniture, and the families whose children lost their lives under their MALM dressers (or any other piece of IKEA furniture) have shattered hearts.  They want IKEA to accept responsibility for their part in their child's death.  They want them to use their platform as a massive retailer and manufacturer to educate consumers about tip-overs by displaying secured products, selling anchors both with and separately from furniture, and putting safety information on their website and in their stores.  That's probably why they chose to sue IKEA or pressure them for a recall, I presume, at least in part. Sure, financial compensation is probably also a factor, and I don't fault them for that, either.  They want to use their voices and their child's story for change, just like I do, and unfortunately, media coverage and lawsuits are what it takes to get attention for your cause in our society much of the time.  Lawsuits are also costly to companies and impact the bottom line and stand to damage the reputation of such a widely known brand, so they can be motivating to companies to comply with the demands of the consumer when the voices are loud enough. 

Fourth, the manufacturer does have a responsibility. ALL manufacturers, not just IKEA.  A responsibility to make safe furniture.  A responsibility that should take precedence over profit.  It shouldn't take a lawsuit or negative media attention and it certainly shouldn't take children dying, for manufacturers to see that.  To understand it.  To put the safety of kids first.  It should happen because it's the right and ethical thing to do.  

Unfortunately, it seems it does take all that, and more, to motivate manufacturers to take more responsibility for making safer products, in this case, furniture.  Our kids had to pay with their lives.  They only have to pay with dollars to make these changes. Dollars they could, in theory, pass on to the consumer.  

If only they could live a day in our shoes, if only they could live through that God-awful day our kids died because of furniture THEIR company made.  I bet they'd see things differently then...  especially if it were their child...

So, why the recall?
So, if the IKEA MALM dressers (and other furniture from IKEA) comes with warning labels and wall anchors, why do they need to recall it?  Parents should use those anchors and it wouldn't be a problem.  Right?

In theory, yes.  Except that's not what happens the majority of the time.  If it did, 96 people, mostly kids under 5, would not be the victim of or injured every single day from tip-overs. Kids would not still be dying from falling furniture. So I'm sorry, but that argument simply doesn't fly.  It is my dream that some day it will, but it is not true today.

You must also look at the bigger picture. This recall goes beyond just a recall of a particular brand of dresser from a particular manufacturer.  The implications and potential outcomes of such a massive and visible recall could result in necessary and positive change, not only for the furniture industry and the safety of furniture through mandatory testing and standards, but through the awareness that comes from it,  and improve the safety of our children, driving down those statistics and someday, perhaps eliminating injuries and death from falling furniture. 

Here's why this recall is a good thing for the industry and for the safety of children everywhere:

• IKEA has made this particular dresser for over ten years. They have not provided warnings and anchors with their furniture for the entirety of the time this dresser has been on the market.  There are more than 70 cases of injuries and seven known children who have died directly because an IKEA piece of furniture fell on them since 1989.  At least 3 in recent years from this specific style of dresser.  ONE child dying is too many! 
• This dresser is poorly designed and thus, inherently unstable, because of it's dimensions and construction. It is not the only piece of furniture out there with design flaws, and IKEA is not the only manufacturer that makes inherently unsafe or unstable furniture.  
• While any furniture can tip, inherently unstable pieces are much more likely to topple, especially when you apply the forces of a child attempting to climb or even just open all the drawers and put a little pressure on the middle of the top drawer.  Go ahead, go do that with every chest of drawers you have in your house, regardless of size, weight, or manufacturer.  If you can't tip it with a little pressure, Simulate the amount of pressure a 50 lb child would exert pulling or climbing on your bookshelves, entertainment center, or dressers/armoires.  In other words, push hard on the middle of that top drawer.  Let me know how many you could tip and how much pressure it took.  I bet you'll be surprised. 
• The dresser may no longer be owned by the person who bought it.  It may have been purchased at a yard sale or consignment stores, handed down by friends or family, freecycled, sold on Craigslist or another resale site, or left out by the side of the road for free, and the instructions with the warnings and anchors were likely not included in those transactions.  Thus, the person who ended up with that dresser may have no idea that it came with a warning and anchors or that furniture can even tip over and injure or kill kids. 
• Not everyone reads the warnings. Not everyone who reads warnings, adheres to them or believes that the furniture could a) tip-over and b) injure or kill a child.  This is a major obstacle in education and prevention.
• Maybe the people who purchased the furniture did not have kids at the time, so they did not think they needed to secure it. What happens when you have kids later, or have friends or family over who have kids?  Chances are the owners are not thinking about those anchors that came with the dresser or the warnings on the directions months, or years later.
• The anchors that come with the furniture (and this applies to ANY furniture) are not likely actually tested to see if they can hold the weight of the furniture, plus everything in/on it, plus the weight of a child climbing or pulling on it.  It's unclear if those anchors actually work under stress!   This needs to be standardized, universal to all furniture, regardless of purpose, size, or weight, and mandatory.  It needs to apply to anchors sold with furniture and those sold at stores. 
• IKEA has been pressured by lawsuits from the families of children killed by their MALM dressers or other IKEA furniture, by government agencies that advocate for consumer safety like the CPSC, and from parent advocates like myself and other parents who have lost children to furniture and TV tip-overs, and child safety groups.  
• There is a voluntary international furniture safety standard, that in part, requires warning labels and anchors be sold with storage furniture of certain dimensions, IKEA's MALM dressers did not adhere to this standard.
• IKEA is not recalling the MALM line in other countries including China and Australia.  Shame on them.  Just because there is less pressure and awareness in those countries about the dangers of tip-over, less pressure to recall furniture, educate families, and take responsibility for the safety of their consumers, does not mean they should risk the lives of children in those countries when they know it's unstable and dangerous.  

Perhaps the best thing about the IKEA MALM recall is that it is raising awareness. It is generating discussion.  It is bringing the issue of furniture safety and tip-over prevention to the table. It's been on the news, it's been discussed at dinner tables, parent groups, and the water cooler.  It's turning the wheels of positive change.  

It is showing manufacturers that we want and demand furniture that is safe, that complies with the current voluntary international safety standards, and we are demanding manufacturers take responsibility for the safety of the products they sell.  It's not just about IKEA, but by holding IKEA responsible, it sends a message to other manufacturers as well.  It's telling IKEA and the industry at large that it's not okay that kids have been injured and died because they made poorly constructed and unstable furniture.  They could have redesigned it.  They could have made it safer.  They chose not to.  That's not okay.  We demand change. Our children's lives depend on it!

The dream that needs to become a reality, so no other parent ever has to know the pain I do

As a tip-over prevention advocate, and bereaved mom, I'd love to see that voluntary safety standard be expanded to include specifications for furniture safety and stability, specific testing standards that include fully loaded and weighted furniture taking into account the weight and physics of a child attempting to climb on it, and testing of anchors for weight compliance and safety.  

I want to see manufacturers and retailers take a pro-active role in educating consumers about the dangers of tip-overs by including information and displays in their stores of properly secured furniture with statistics about how often tip-overs happen and how easy they are to prevent.  I want to see anchors not only included with every piece of furniture and TV sold, but I want them sold in stores everywhere.  I want them to be as well known as a necessary child-proofing tool as outlet plugs are. 

I have worked closely with the CPSC for several years on tip-over prevention and awareness and am a community advocate for their Anchor It! campaign.  Meghan's Hope has been about awareness and prevention from the very day she died.  And yet when I see comment threads on my own social media posts or the articles about this massive recall, I get so frustrated when people who don't see the bigger picture.  I hope now, you do see that bigger picture, at least from the perspective of a bereaved parent, and see the wisdom in the recall and the potential benefits it could bring.

Please, #AnchorIt.

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I was recently invited to speak at a Safe Kids conference on Meghan's Hope and what I've learned as a parent advocate.  My goal was to not only educate the Safe Kids members and the other public safety members who were in attendance about the statistics and realities of tip-over, but to educate them on the importance  of educating the community about prevention.  One of my other goals was to share what I've learned about what motivates parents to take action and what doesn't work.

My presentation was an hour long.  I began with Meghan's story.  I asked how many had heard of Meghan's Hope or had seen the CPSC's tip-over video.  Very, very few raised their hands. I was surprised and saddened.  I'd expected at least 1/4 of those in attendance to have seen the video.

I asked how many had tried to tip the flat screen TV in the hotel rooms we were staying in or opened all the drawers in the low and long dresser in each room the TV sat on. Crickets. No hands went up.  "Come on people!" was my response. I was shocked!  Not one of them, even those who had young kids with them, even thought to try.  My eyes were opened wider.  Safe Kids members didn't know!  They didn't get it.  If they don't know the dangers, then those the parents they work with probably don't either. Of course, this is why I was invited to present.  Thank goodness I was!  To be fair, I've learned that those who work for Safe Kids coalitions often have a specialty area like car seat safety, fire or water safety, or bicycle safety and often compete for grants to further the education and training in just one specialty area.  They are not, like I expected they would be, as a rule, generalists when it comes to child safety education.  

For the record, the TV's were secured, with adhesive (? super glued) to the top of the dresser. I could not tip it.  This made me happy.  Of course they were secured so no one could steal them, not because the hotel thought they could fall on and kill a child, but secured was secured. The dresser, with all 4 drawers opened and very little (two finger) pressure in the middle of the top drawers, tipped forward VERY easily.  This made me sad.  The hotel was a Great Wolf Lodge. They catered to kids and families.  I pointed out during my talk that one of the 4 children who would be victims of a TV or furniture tip-over every hour could be here right now. It could be THEIR child.  It could happen in THIS hotel.  They might even be one of the children that die ever 2 weeks from a tip-over.  I could see the light bulbs start to go off in people's heads and through the expressions on their faces.

As I went through my presentation, I shared the statistics, I shared what motivates parents and what doesn't. I shared why social media is so important for getting safety messages out to the public, along with in person education, demonstrations, and community support.  I explained the barriers, the excuses parents give and how dangerous that thinking is.  I explained how I teach, what I teach, and how going to that place of emotion and fear first, and then following it up with facts and prevention is the winning formula for motivating most parents to act on securing their furniture and TV's. 

Sadly, my embedded videos did not work. I really wanted them to see that CPSC video and the Real Moms Urge you to Anchor it video! I gave them the resources, websites, and links to view them and encouraged them to follow up. I'm not sure they will.  I had placed my brochure and the CPSC's Anchor It! flyers at every place that also had the website they could go to for more information.  When I ended, with a plea that they please, anchor it, I received generous applause. 

After I spoke, the coordinator told the story of how she heard me speak last summer at the National Safe Kids conference. It was there she learned of the dangers of furniture and TV tip-over, called her husband after I spoke and told him they had to secure their furniture.  It was why she invited me to speak at their local conference.  She knew it was an area of knowledge deficit among the public in their state and community and among the safe kids community.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to share my story and the message.

A few attendees came over to thank me personally after I spoke. A few first responders shared with me their experience with being first on scene to a tragedy involving a child (one was a tombstone tip over at a cemetery) and how it was nearly a career ending call for him he was so traumatized by it. He had tears in his eyes as he told me about it.  He said the debriefing he received was the first their department did and it saved his career. 

This is a really important aspect of these type of tragedies. Those who provide medical care to our children before and after they die, or who have the tremendous heartbreaking responsibility of calling the resuscitation efforts off and telling parents their child has died, are deeply impacted, too.  They grieve, too, and they need support and even counseling to help them process.  I have no idea how those who work in pediatric trauma hospital ER's do it, but I'm eternally grateful for the work of our first responders and ER staff who do care for our children with love and compassion, and carry their life and death in their hearts forever, too.

After everyone left for the break and next session and I began to pack up my stuff, I was saddened to see quite a few attendees had left the literature I passed out behind when they left the room.  At first I was frustrated and momentarily angry.  Why? Why would they not take the information? Why would they not at least keep it as a resource? Did they not care?  Did they STILL think it couldn't happen to them or in their community?  Did I not reach them with the things I said? Was I not an effective presenter?

As I gathered the materials left behind, another bereaved mom came to me. She had tears in her eyes.  She told me I was telling her story, too. The same, but different.  She asked to take all the leftover materials. We talked for quite a while that day, and again over the next few days, about the challenges of being a parent advocate. About being a bereaved parent.  Her child died in a bicycle accident, he was struck by a drunk driver.  She works on bicycle safety now.  The day I spoke was the 10th anniversary of her son's funeral. 

As is often the case, bereaved parents welcome other members of our "family" with open arms. We hugged, we cried, we shared stories and experiences.  She offered to translate my brochure into Spanish, a tremendous gesture.  I had brought one of my books with me.  I wasn't sure why I hauled it with me. I didn't need it.  After talking to her, I pulled it out and dedicated it to her and her son Joshua.  I gifted it to her.  That was why I brought the book, unbeknownst to me when I left my house. We will be in touch.  I don't believe in coincidence...

I attended several of the conference sessions over the next few days, and several more people came to me to thank me.  Many admitted they were moved to tears during my presentation.  Many have young children or grandchildren and had already shared the information with spouses and children and it was priority 1 for when they got home.  I began to think maybe I reached more people than I thought.

As I sit on the plane flying home, I feel grateful.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to share Meghan's story, to educate the educators about furniture and TV safety.  To honor my daughter's memory and share my hope that no other child die from this type of preventable tragedy.  I am also grateful for a new friend, a fellow bereaved parent, and that our paths crossed when they did, at just the right time. 

I am also acutely aware, again... still... that we have a lot of work to do.  There are still so many people who have no idea how easily, quickly, and often TV's and furniture falls on children. They have no idea that there are simple and easy ways to stop it from happening.  There are still millions of children at risk.

It takes a village to keep kids safe.  YOU are the village.  We must continue to share this message. We must continue to educate. Even if you know the dangers, you know hundreds of people who likely don't know.  If you tell someone, they tell someone, and they tell someone... The same is true when you share it on social media.  Clicking share is easy and quick and it could save a life.  Share Meghan's Hope. The website, the Facebook page. Share the CPSC's Anchorit.gov page. Share the videos. Share my resource list. 

No one knows about these dangers unless someone tells them.  Once they know, they need to understand no one is immune.  Prevention is the only way to protect a child from a tip-over tragedy.  4 children every hour.  Over 90 children every day are victims of  tip-over accidents!  More than 30 children die every year. One injury, one death, is too many. Trust me.  I know.

Please. Share Meghan's Hope. Share this information. You never know who will read it who needs it. You never know how many lives you could save.  But you will save lives.  You can spare other families my pain. It's quick. It's easy. 

Please. Anchor it.

Imagine what it would be like if you could have a superpower.  What it would be like to be a superhero?

Imagine that superpower involved saving lives:  the lives of children.   Perhaps even the life of your own child or one that you know and love.

You don’t have to imagine.  You can be a safety hero, too!   I’ll show you how!



I’ve just had the honor of attending and presenting at the Safe Kids Worldwide Injury Prevention Conference, known as PREVCON, in Washington, DC.  Their tag line for the conference is “where safety heroes meet” and the graphics are done comic book style.  It’s clever, and has a ring of truth to it.  For this is where the safety geeks of the world come together, driven by a passion for which you should thank each and every one of them.  They live, work tirelessly, and breathe to keep YOUR kids safer.  They are passionate about injury prevention and safety for the children of the world.  



Preventable injury is the #1 cause of death to children all over the world, including here in the United States.  ALL of these injuries and deaths are preventable.  But how?  (Hint:  it involves you.)

The recipe for injury prevention is really a simple one, but for some reason, getting people to come to the table and try the recipe, and then take it back to their own homes and families to share it remains a challenge.  That is why PREVCON happens.  How do we teach the world the recipe for child safety, as based on the latest research and statistics? 

That’s an important point.  We don’t make this stuff up.  The things that are injuring and killing millions of children all over the world are well documented and researched.  Every statistic is a real child and a real life.  Every death is a child someone loved who was robbed of their ability to grow up and do great things.  All because of something that could have been prevented. 

If only…  

If only their parents knew.  Believed it was a danger.  Took steps to prevent it.  Told others what they knew so they’d be able to keep their kids safer, too.

I’m going to give you the basic recipe.  How lucky are you?  Hey wait.  I just did!

First:  Education and Awareness
You can’t prevent injury if you don’t know how it occurs or why it’s a danger.  So the first step is to make people aware of the dangers that lurk in and around the home as well as outside of the home.  Some of these are obvious and others are more “hidden” dangers.  They are still dangers and kids are vulnerable to injury and death when parents are unaware of the danger.

Second:  Understanding “it” (accidental injury or death) absolutely CAN happen to you. 
It does not happen to other people.   No one ever thinks it will happen to them.  I sure as hell didn’t!  It doesn’t happen only to “bad” or neglectful parents.  It knows no race, money, educational background, or status.  It happens to good, loving, attentive, educated parents every single day.  If there exists a danger, and you have not taken steps to prevent it from potentially injuring or God forbid, killing your child, YOU and YOUR CHILD are vulnerable to it.  Period.  End of story.

Parents and grandparents need to get their heads out of the sand and stop thinking these things happen to “other” people.  They need to stop being judgmental of the parents it does happen to, because it could just as easily happen to them if they’ve not taken steps to prevent “it”, whatever “it” is.  No one is immune.  No one is with their kids 24/7, so don’t tell me you are always with them and never out of your sight so they are not at risk.  You are lying to yourself.  I’m sure you use the bathroom, shower, get the mail, and sleep every single day.  There are times you leave your child in the care of others. 

Third:  Take action to prevent it. 
Knowledge is only power if you put it to use.  Once you understand the dangers and *get* that it could happen to your child, you need to take steps to prevent it from happening.  This could be in the form of some manner of childproofing, buying a proper fitting bike helmet and making them wear it, keeping them in the back seat until they are at least 13 and in a booster seat until they are both tall enough and mature enough to sit upright in the car and have the seatbelt properly positioned at all times.  It could be teaching your kids not to be distracted by their phones or music when walking and crossing the street, never to text or talk when driving and for YOU to set the example by doing the right thing all the time yourself.  This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things you need to consider to keep your kids safe. 

Fourth:  Share it
Pay it forward.  Once you understand a particular danger or hazard, know how to prevent it, and have taken the proper steps to make your home and child safer, share what you’ve learned with your friends and family.  Do your part to keep other kids safe.  It takes a village.  Be part of the village and help it grow!

You know what my superpower is.  It’s really not me at all, it’s my beautiful daughter.  It’s sharing her story, our story, and her beautiful face.  It’s about preventing tip-overs.  It’s about my knack for passionate education so no other parent ever have to know my pain or bury their child from something a few dollars and a few minutes could have prevented.  

So what’s your safety superpower?  Maybe you have more than one!  It could be that it was born of an experience you had with a child.  Perhaps an actual injury or maybe a near miss and you and your child were “lucky”.  Maybe, like me, you experienced the worst loss, your child died from a preventable accident.  Maybe, you just realized something you never knew about before and it really resonated with you and you have a desire to share it with others. 

If you have a story or an experience, share it.  Other parents identify with real life stories.  When there is a face and a story to go with a statistic, it “sticks” more readily.  It makes more sense.  It makes it real.  Others can learn from you!  It’s like sharing a really good and yummy recipe.  Everyone gets to partake of the goodness!

So when you personally take action to make kids safer and learn about things you did not previously know about or understand as a danger, share it!  You can be a safety hero, too!  You could save countless lives.  You could be the reason someone else’s child has the opportunity to grow up and do great things instead of being denied that chance due to a preventable accident.


What color will your cape be? 

 

 

A guest blog post by Keir McDonald


Helping children choose safe passwords and screen names

By Keir McDonald MBE

Children will need to choose safe screen names and passwords as soon as they start exploring online.  But when it comes to choosing screen names and passwords, many children, especially younger children, need some guidance. Protecting children and the family’s personal information should be top priority.

Here are 4 easy tips parents and teachers can use to help children choose and maintain safe screen names and secure passwords for social media and other online applications.

Explain WHY Screen Names Should Not Contain Personal Information

When choosing a screen name, first be sure to let kids know they should only share content that they are comfortable with others seeing. This includes all information that is public via a screen name or profile.

 This is a good time to encourage children to think about any and all public information about them online.  While it may seem like a long way off, explain how future employers, college admissions officers, team coaches, and teachers may view postings and even a child’s screen name could impact future relationships.  Encourage children to think about the impression that screen names could make now and in the future.

Strong Passwords are the Foundation of Online Security

Next, teach children how to choose passwords that are difficult to guess, including making use of capital and lowercase letters, as well as numbers.

A password should be easy to remember but tough to hack. One easy way to remember passwords is to replace a letter with a similar-looking number. For example, using a “1″ in place of an “L” or a “5″ in place of an “S” are easy ways to replace a letter for a number.  Never use “Password” as the password, or things like phone numbers or addresses. 

Encourage your child to maintain a password logbook for both you and your child to have access to, and try to change passwords together every 6 months or so.

Help Your Child Manage Passwords and Keep Them Safe

For younger children, make sure you know all screen names and passwords so you can monitor Internet use. Especially with young children and pre-teens, knowing their passwords for all social media accounts, email, gaming sites, computer, tablet, and phone is important. This will enable you and your child to maintain an open line of communication about what they are doing online and to gain trust in technology use over time.

Do Not Choose Screen Names That Contain Personal Information

Your child should choose screen names that do not include personal information, such as first name, birth date or last name. Begin by helping your kids understand what information should be private so they can make safe screen name choices.

Information such as full given name, Social Security Number, street address, phone number, and family financial information is all private and should stay that way.

Help your child think of a screen name that is fun and impersonal that he or she can remember.

Regardless of age, it is important to always keep an open line of communication with your child about Internet safety. Talk to your children about the dangers of sharing a password with anyone besides you, even their best friend.  

About the Author

Keir McDonald MBE is founder and Director of EduCare, an online training solutions company that specialise in child protection, exploitation and online safety, and bullying and child neglect. EduCare is associated with both Kidscape and Family Lives and customers include over 4000 schools and colleges and 12000 pre-schools as well as councils, NHS, charities and more.

Did you know that 81% of tip-over fatalities occur in the home?  That every 15 minutes a child is injured from a falling piece of furniture or a TV?  That's over 70 children every single day!

It happened in my home.  It happened to my child.  It could happen to yours.

Yesterday, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) launched a new tip-over awareness and prevention campaign called Anchor it!  They also launched a great new website www.anchorit.gov where you can find a wealth of information and resources about the frequency and demographics of furniture and TV tip-overs. They explain not only why you should anchor it, but also how to anchor furniture and TV's so they can't tip and fall and cause injury or even kill children.  Check it out, then share it with every parent, grandparent, and teacher you know!

If you make or sell furniture, there is important information on how you can be a partner in anchoring it, not only to keep consumers safer in your store, but how to be an advocate for making sure their children are safe once the furniture and TV's you sell them leave your store! 

The statistics are startling

• Three children every hour are injured in a tip-over accident. That's 72 children EVERY DAY.
• 42% of tip-over fatalities occur in the bedroom
• A child dies an average of every 2 weeks from a tip-over accident. That's 26 children every year.  Even one death is too many.  Trust me. 
• An estimated 38,000 people are injured every year from a fallen piece of furniture or a TV.  Adults can be injured or killed too, not just kids!
• 2/3 of TV and furniture tip-over accidents happen to toddlers
• A TV can call with a force of a thousand pounds (think 1 bowling ball for every 10 pounds something weighs, plus the force of the fall.  Would you want even one bowling ball falling from a height of 3 feet onto your child's head? Now imagine a hundred bowling balls falling on your child at once...)
• Every 15 minutes, someone in the U.S. is injured in a tip-over
• The majority of injuries involve head injuries.  Sometimes they result in lifelong disability. Sometimes they are fatal. 

Not sure if or why you should anchor it?  Watch this video from the CPSC.  Another new PSA that shows how to anchor furniture:  Anchor it!  30 second PSA

Meghan's Hope is proud and honored to be a partner and adviser to the CPSC on this amazing National awareness and prevention campaign.

My first interaction with the CPSC was shortly after Meghan died.  I wrote to the then commissioner, notifying him of Meghan's death and inquiring as to why there was not greater public awareness of the dangers of furniture tip-over. He replied, offering his condolences but also stating the CPSC was looking into this danger more closely.

Fast forward a little over ten years and a lot of advocacy work, I am proud and honored to be a consultant, ally, and advocate of the CPSC's new Anchor it campaign.  It launched yesterday morning!  Hopefully, you saw a news story, tweet, or Facebook post about it.  It is my hope that today, you share this blog and the Anchor it website on your social media channels and with everyone you know who has a child under ten in their home or who visits their home.  Use the hashtag #anchorit 

This is an amazing awareness and prevention campaign and a life saving message but we need your help to get the message out there.  We need to educate parents and get this information and these resources into their hands so they can anchor it and get on top of tip overs before their child does.

Meghan's Hope is also a valuable resource.  Meghan's story is a compelling one to motivate parents to take this danger seriously.  Our resource lists provide information on what furniture and TV anchors are available and where to buy them as well as what not to buy!  

Nothing I do will bring my Meggie back to me, but if she can save another child's life, her death will not have been in vain.  Please, anchor it today! 

~ From my personal blog Love, Light, Laughter, and Chocolate ~

I've spent the better part of the last several weeks writing.  Blog posts, Facebook posts, and Twitter posts on multiple sites and pages I manage.  I've also spent a good deal of time reading and commenting on the posts of others.  This post and it's subject matter have been swimming in my head for several weeks.

The crux of it is, we need to talk.  There needs to be a conversation that not only starts, but continues. It's already started, but the focus is not where it needs to be.  Perhaps I can help shift to focus to where it should be.  Where it needs to be.

The Conversation
Most of the conversation the past few weeks has revolved around two things.  Child Safety and kids dying.  Two things I am clearly passionate about, and for me, have been part of my conversations for the past ten years.  It wasn't my choice to have these passions.  It was born of circumstance. Circumstances that are now part of the fabric of who I am, what I do, and why I write.

Oddly, it seems many people don't understand how these two things go together.  Or, perhaps more accurately, they do understand, but they don't want to think about it.  They don't want it thrown in their face. Especially at a time when they are having a good time, gathered with friends and family, and expecting to be entertained by both by the people around them and what they are watching on TV.

Yes, I'm referring to the Superbowl and the highly controversial Nationwide ad for Make Safe Happen.  I've written about it before and you can refer to that post for my feelings on the ad itself.

Having read many comments on many social media, news, and blog sites, I am saddened.  Not just because so many people did not *get* the message, but the actual reason they did not get the message or outright refused to get the message, even when it was explained to them.  DEATH SCARES THE S*IT OUT OF PEOPLE.  Especially when it's about kids.

Death:  Don't Wanna Even...
Am I wrong?  Does the thought of a loved one dying, especially suddenly and unexpectedly, scare the pants off you?  You don't want to think about it do you?  You certainly don't want to think about what it would be like to get that phone call, that visit to your door from an officer, or the doctor and the social worker at the door of your loved one's hospital room.  So many people refuse to create wills, health care proxies or power of attorney documents because they just don't want to think about death. Or think they can put it off until "later" and then, when death comes, later turns out to be tomorrow...

You fear your spouse having a heart attack or being in a fatal car accident.  You know your loved one with cancer is fighting for their life but you don't want to consider they might not win, even if they have. You absolutely don't want to ever have to go to a child's wake or funeral because it's just too hard to even think about, let alone have it be for YOUR CHILD.

So what do you do instead?  You get pissed off when someone else confronts you with it.  Especially if they confront you with it out of nowhere, when you were not expecting it.  Even worse, if it's a time when you are gathered with friends and family in celebration.

Guess what.  That's the point.  That's what it's like for thousands of people every single day.  Their perfectly happy lives are shattered when a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly dies.  Death, like that ad, doesn't come when you are "ready" for it. It does not always come with a warning.  It comes when it damn well pleases.  Sometimes you can prepare for it, sometimes you cannot. Sometimes there are things you can do to prevent it, sometimes there are not. There is no good time for a loved one to die. None.

There was no better time to air that Nationwide ad.  Why?  A huge audience, full of parents.  Who is their target audience?  Parents.  What was their goal?  Education and yes, maybe even shock value. They wanted to get your attention, and they did.  The message, preventable accidents are the # 1 cause of death to children and a kid can die just this fast, and when they do, this is how it feels.  Don't like it?  MAKE SAFE HAPPEN.  It was that simple.

Misplaced Emotions or No Idea What to do with Them?
Of course people got pissed off.  How dare Nationwide make me confront a subject I'm not comfortable with?  How dare they do it when *I* am having a good time?  How dare they not warn me they were going to "kill" my Superbowl buzz by killing a kid?  They (you?) didn't want their happy family and friends feel good party "ruined."  I get it.

Neither did I.  On December 18th, 2004 I was supposed to be wrapping Christmas gifts and making cookies and crafts with my kids.  Instead, I woke up to find my daughter crushed beneath her dresser. I spent half the day at hospitals.  I came home with a box of her hand and foot prints and a lock of her hair. And overwhelming guilt. She went to the morgue. I didn't want Christmas ruined in 2004 (and for the rest of my life) when instead, I had to bury my daughter who died from a preventable tip-over accident 3 days before Christmas.  I COULD HAVE PREVENTED HER DEATH!

Your Superbowl party might have been brought down by a commercial.  My entire life came crashing down around me when my daughter died from a preventable accident.  One I could have prevented, had I known of the danger. Had I believed the danger.  Had I known the statistics.  If only... Their goal was to educate you so you don't ever have to know what it's like to be me. Get it?  That ad, might have saved my daughter's life if I'd seen it ten years ago.

Despite my pain, despite the trigger, I loved the ad.  Why?  IT CAN SAVE LIVES!  It can prevent you from ever having to feel the pain I do.  The pain millions of parents feel every year.  The pain of losing a child to something you could have prevented. I already live with the pain of losing a child. An ad is not going to change that. If only it were that easy...

So I'm sorry your SuperBowl viewing experience was ruined for a few minutes.  Really.  But guess what?  You then went back to your eating, drinking, laughing, and regularly scheduled life.  My "regular" life is nothing like it was supposed to be.  I'm sorry, but get over it.

Must Know Info: Grief is a Journey and it Lasts a Lifetime
You know, it's also interesting to me how many bereaved parents were outraged.  They slammed Nationwide for being insensitive to bereaved parents.  That bereaved parents were triggered by the commercial and it should not have been shown during the Superbowl.  That showing an ad that depicted a child dying was in poor taste. They were angry they were watching with the bereaved siblings of the child that died, and they siblings may have also been upset by the trigger.  Or fellow bereaved family members who took offense to their escapist Superbowl viewing being hijacked by a commercial that reminded them of their loss.

Look, I get it. I am a bereaved parent.  I know the spot was a trigger.  I know it blindsided people whether they had ever lost a child or not.  Grief is forever.  Triggers happen.  They suck.  I hate them as much as the next person.  I knew what was coming and I still cried when it aired. It was powerful and compelling. Nationwide did not deliberately try to upset bereaved parents.  Parents who did not lose a child to a preventable accident may have also missed the point of the ad, because of their own grief.  That's understandable. Would there have been a "good" or "better" time to air that ad?  If it triggered you then, it would have triggered you whenever you happened to see it.  Perhaps you'd have been less likely to see it if it were not aired during the Superbowl.

Many of us prefer to be alone in our grief, or when triggered unexpectedly, but what about the benefit of having the support of others in our grief?  What about taking advantage of having friends and family around to support each other, have a conversation, and help us work through our grief? Especially when something like this happens?  That was the gift inside of this commercial for families who are bereaved for any reason, but especially the loss of a child. The opportunity to start or continue the conversation about death and grief. Of course if your loss was recent, this is often harder to do and I am sensitive to that.  Really, I am.

Even if you had not ever lost a child, if you didn't like the ad during the Superbowl, you would not have liked it any better during your favorite reality, sitcom, or drama show, either.

The Truth
Let's be real and honest here. Your objection to the ad was not *really* that it aired during the Superbowl. It was that it involved the death of a child and it made you uncomfortable.  That discomfort was likely amplified by the fact you were probably in a social environment, and with other people who were equally uncomfortable with a serious subject like the death of a child.  You probably did not have much experience discussing death and/or are uncomfortable with it, or even if you did, you might have felt peer pressure to go along with the crowd and their reaction.  Chances are you stuffed whatever emotion the ad dredged up in you, or, impulsively blamed Nationwide for YOUR discomfort with the death of a child (and likely completely missing the point of the ad), and went back to the party and the game.

I was watching with my two sons, who are obviously bereaved siblings.  We talked about it right after it aired.  They were not upset by it.  They *got* it.  Once they understood the reason the ad was made that way, and what it was really about, they were able to see the benefit.  They were proud their sister is helping to save lives through Meghan's Hope and my involvement with the Nationwide Make Safe Happen campaign.

Why were my kids not upset?  Probably largely because we *do* talk about death in this house.  We talk about how Meggie died, why she died, and what we can do to prevent it from happening to others. I don't shelter them from death, I never have and I never will.  Even when they were 3 and 6 the day she died, they were involved in all of it in an age-appropriate way. We are an open, honest, real family. We talk about triggers and that it can be upsetting when things remind us of her and the way she died. We talked about how others might not feel the same way we do and why.  I want my kids to understand and be comfortable talking about death.

While talking about triggers, what about the 911 ad?  How do you think victims of domestic violence felt about that ad?  Don't you think it was a trigger for them?  What about people who lost children to cancers or other illness and their reaction to the St. Jude commercial?  What about alcoholics and people who lost loved ones to drunk driving and all the beer commercials?  Triggers can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime and for any reason. Yes, for those who have lost a loved one and especially a child they may be more intense, but there are other kinds of losses that cause just as strong of a grief reaction.

To a point, we can only relate to what we know and what we believe to be true.  When it comes to grief, everyone does it differently.  Everyone brings to any discussion their personal, cultural, religious and spiritual beliefs along with their personal life experience.

The Power of Choice 
Yet we always have a choice.  We can choose to be pissed off and self-absorbed about our personal feelings about anything, in this case the Nationwide ad, and the fact they used a child that died from a preventable accident to educate parents that preventable accidents are the #1 cause of death to children. That their kids could be at risk. Really. Not someone else's kids. THEIR kids.  YOUR kids.

Nationwide made it real. Reality, when it involves death, makes most of us uncomfortable.

Instead of getting the message.  Instead of going to the makesafehappen website or checking out the app to see what it was all about, people lashed out against Nationwide for "killing a kid during the Superbowl."  They chose to place blame on Nationwide for how it made them feel.  Nationwide did not "make" you feel or do anything.  That's all you.  They created an emotional, compelling, PSA. How you chose to react to it was all you. Really, we need to start owning our feelings, understanding them, and stop blaming others, no matter what it is we feel. The only person responsible for how you feel is you.

Let me say that again.  The only person responsible for how you feel is you.

I propose it was much less about how people felt about the commercial itself and a whole lot more about how death-averse we are as a society.  People missed both messages embedded in that commercial.  In doing so, they missed both an opportunity to learn more about preventable accidents and making kids safer and they missed the opportunity to have a real, honest, and important conversation about death, dying, and grief.

The Conversation Begging to be Had
Here is the thing.  Death is part of life.  We are all going to die.  We all know that, but no one seems to want to actually acknowledge it until they have no choice.  Yes, we would love to believe that we will all live long, happy, healthy and full lives and die of old age when we are damn good and ready to.

Except life doesn't always work that way.

People die.  Some after living long, fulfilling, wonderful lives. Some before they are born.  Some die of horrible diseases they did not ask for or deserve. Some die in car accidents or plane crashes that were no fault of their own. Some will have a heart attack or stroke with no risk factors or warning signs.  Some die trying to save the lives of others like the members of our armed forces or first responders.  Some are horribly murdered.  Some commit suicide.  Some die in an accident that may have been preventable.  Sometimes the victims of these accidents are kids.

There is never a good time to lose someone we love.  When kids die, it hits us especially hard.  Even if we don't know them. Why?  Kids are not supposed to die. Certainly not before their parents.  Of course not everything that takes the life of a child can be prevented.  But many accidents can be prevented. Why would you not want to do everything you can to protect children so they have every opportunity to live long, happy, and healthy lives?

Nationwide started a conversation.  They want to educate people that accidents are the #1 cause of death to children.  They want to teach parents and those who care for children what the dangers are and how to make their homes and their children safer.  It's that simple.  It's that important.  They provided a wonderful resource and information in the Make Safe Happen website and app.  They want to save the lives of children.

I want to take it one step further.  Let's also let it be a catalyst for talking about death, dying, and grief.  Let's learn how to support others who have lost someone they love.  Let's learn how to support someone who is dying and those who love them.  Let's talk to our families about what would be important to us when we are facing the end of life or after we die.  I've tried to start this conversation, at least with regard to understanding and supporting bereaved parents, with my book Out of the Darkness.  

What you can do
I ask of you two things.

First, If you've not yet done so, please visit the Make Safe Happen Website and download the app or, if you don't have young children in your life, share it with someone who does.  Learn what Nationwide's ad was really about.

Second, make a date on your calendar to talk to your spouse, significant other, children, family members and/or friends about what would be important to you if you were dying.  What you'd want after you die for services.  Create a health care proxy, power of attorney, and will if you've not done so already.  Don't wait for a health crisis, or for when you get older, or allow it to be put off over and over again.  Do it now.  It will make everything so much easier when death does come knocking for everyone involved.

Be the change.

Thank you.

Meghan’s Hope and Nationwide are partners in the Make Safe Happen campaign. While all opinions expressed here are my own, I have received compensation from Nationwide for promotion of their Make Safe Happen campaign materially or financially.

Yesterday, I read a news story about the family of Ryeley and Brooklyn Beatty, two sisters who were tragically killed in their home when a dresser fell on them.  The family is now suing Babies R Us and the manufacturer of the dresser for not including tip-restraints and warning labels with the dresser when they bought it.  

It made me wonder... who should be responsible for preventing tip-overs?  Should it be the manufacturer?  The stores that sell the furniture?  The consumers, who are mostly parents, grandparents, and responsible adults who may or may not have children in their home?  All three?

Statistics
The CPSC Tip Over Information Center reports that 71 children every single day are victims of a tip-over accident. That's 3 children every single hour.  In the time it took me to write this post alone, 3 children have had a piece of furniture, a TV, or an appliance fall on them!  

Preventable accidents are the leading cause of death to children.  Preventable is the key word.  Tip-overs are preventable!

Current standards
Thanks to the work of the Consumer Product Safety Commission with ASTM (a voluntary standards organization), catalyzed in part by two bills introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives titled The Katie Elise and Meghan Agnes Act (2005 and 2009), in which we asked for warning labels and restraints to be sold with furniture, there is now a VOLUNTARY furniture safety standard for warnings and tip-restraints.   

The problems with the current standards
This standard is a step in the right direction, but it has serious flaws that I'd like to see addressed and amended. For one, it's voluntary, not mandatory.  Many manufacturers follow it, but many others do not.  Some are adamantly resisting it! One of the problems with it is that the standard does not apply to all furniture, only storage furniture of a certain size, height, and design. 

The standard also does not specify the type of restraint that must be included.  Many of the restraints are cheap and some are downright insufficient.  The anchors included with the furniture are not actually tested to see if they will safely hold the weight of the furniture, fully loaded and with a child climbing on it, nor is there any official or mandatory standard for testing.  This needs to change and become part of the standard.  

Furthermore, there is no standard for testing ANY of the restraints sold in stores and many do not indicate what their weight capacity is, either, and that also needs to change!  It not only puts the child at risk, but also the manufacturer, as evidenced by the increasing number of lawsuits in tip-over cases.  

Installation instructions vary and may be insufficient (not indicating the need to secure into a stud, using drywall anchors, attaching it to a solid wood part of the furniture, not press board, the fact more than one restraint may be needed, screws being too short, cable ties that become brittle or break or won't hold significant weight, etc.) leading parents to install the restraints incorrectly or giving them a false sense of security.  They may think that if they install the restraint that comes with the furniture, their child is protected. That may not be true.  Kids could still be at risk.

Myths and Misconceptions vs. truth and reality
Far too many people think it's just dressers or furniture designed for kids' rooms that is a tip-over hazard and that's just not true. 

ALL furniture and ALL TV's have the potential to tip-over and fall on a child.  It is not just the furniture in your child's room or in a play room that needs to be secured.  

Furniture in every room needs to be secured. Dressers, book shelves, armoires, TV stands and entertainment centers, nightstands, hutches, desks, grandfather clocks, cube style storage units, cabinets with doors and/or shelves, file cabinets, corner or curio cabinets, and changing tables.  It could be the most expensive well-made piece in the world or cheap dollar store furniture.  If it's not secured, it's all the same.  It all can tip.  Does it matter some tips more easily than others?  Does it matter if it takes 10 pounds of force or 30 pounds to make it tip?  Does it matter how big or small your child is or how much they weigh?  Not if your kid ends up under it. The testing weight used by the CPSC is 50 pounds!  Some furniture may be more likely than others to tip due to inherent instability or design, but unless they are secured properly to a stud in the wall, all furniture and all kids are at risk. Period. End of story.  

There are no caveats.  Furniture and TV's properly secured = kids safer.  Furniture and TV's not (or improperly) secured= kids at risk of injury or death.  

It all makes me shake my head.  It would not cost the manufacturers much, and certainly nothing significant, to include a proper restraint and detailed installation instructions.  That is a cost they could pass on to the consumer and wouldn't amount to more than a few dollars in reality.  The cost for them to test the furniture with the restraint for safety is well worth it for the safety and well-being of their consumers.  Lives are more important than bonuses and huge profit margins.  

Is there any benefit in suing?
The news story that inspired this post indicated the parents were suing the store and the manufacturer of the dresser that fell and killed their girls.  It all also begs the question, is suing anyone for the death of a child from a tip-over accident the *right* answer?  

After Meghan died, some people encouraged us to sue the manufacturer of her dresser.  My response, "Why?  That is not going to bring Meghan back.  It is not going to address the larger issue of furniture falling on kids.  It's an issue bigger than one manufacturer.  I don't want to waste their time or money or mine.  I want to educate, inform, and change the SYSTEM.  The INDUSTRY.  What and how we educate parents about dangers in their homes..." 

I did call the manufacturer, to inform them of her death and the danger.  They were very responsive.  Perhaps because they were afraid I'd sue them. Perhaps because they genuinely did not realize the danger and were grateful I informed them.  Perhaps because the woman on the phone was a mother and could hear the pain in my voice when I told her my story.  This was also before there was the awareness there is now about tip-overs, before restraints were as readily available in stores and online as they are today, before there was a voluntary safety standard, before the CPSC initiated their Anchor It campaign.  Much of that was born of the work of parents like me, looking for answers and asking questions. 


I know other parents who lost children to similar tragic, preventable accidents.  Some chose to sue, some did not. I can not speak for them, only that they did what they felt they needed to do.  I don't judge.  I understand their motivation. I'm sure at least in part, their intention was as much to try to catalyze a change for the better in terms of safety as it was for financial compensation.  Fear of lawsuits is a motivating factor for many companies, and perhaps, the fear of litigation will motivate them to make safer furniture and comply with the voluntary standard.  It makes me sad that is what it takes to motivate companies to do their part to save lives. 

There are now law firms who actually specialize in, advertise and market to, and encourage parents who have lost children or whose children have been severely injured in tip-over accidents to sue.  Why?  Is it about positive change or something else?  Legislation?  Revenge? Anger?  Or is it just a way to make money off of a tragedy, for both lawyers and their clients?  

While the financial rewards of a lawsuit can help to pay for medical or even funeral costs and lost wages after the death of a child, what the industry and society at large seems to be missing is it would cost a whole lot less to PREVENT IT FROM HAPPENING IN THE FIRST PLACE.  Not only in dollars, but in lives that would be saved.

The bigger problem:  Denial
Except, of course, no one ever thinks "it" could happen to them, right?  "It" always happens to someone else.  Bad parents.  Neglectful parents.  Poor parents who can't afford "good" furniture. Parents who can't "control" or don't discipline their kids "correctly."  Denial is dangerous and could be downright deadly.  So is making assumptions. Don't assume it can't or won't happen to you or your child.  Don't think your social status or financial status magically makes your child any safer than another. Don't put the importance of your furniture or TV or appliance above your child's safety. Your child's life is far too important for that game.  

Holes in furniture and in walls can be fixed.  Holes in hearts left behind when your child's death could have been prevented cannot be.  Trust me.  I know. 

Maybe people think it only happens with cheap or poorly made furniture, only tall or unstable furniture, only with dressers or shelving units, only with kids' furniture, or only in bedrooms or play rooms.  I remind people Meghan's dresser was small, sturdy, and well-made by a top of the line juvenile furniture manufacturer.  It can happen anywhere, anyplace, anytime and to anyone.  In a home (yours or someone else's), in a school, in a child care facility, in a store, at a meeting space (cub or girl scouts, religious education, activity spaces like gyms or dance studios), even to adults and the elderly in nursing homes or senior centers! 

My question is who is really served by lawsuits?  Who does it help and how?  One family at a time?  While it may bring solace and financial resources to a family, what about other children who are at risk?  Maybe it gets one company to change it's ways, force a recall, or to comply with the voluntary standard in part, but for how long and how safe are they really going to be? (see above part about quality of restraints and documentation included for warnings and installation) Is it a good use of resources?  

Here's the thing
Given the amount of money spent on lawsuits on both sides, it seems to me that instead of giving all that money to attorneys, manufacturing companies could easily provide quality, appropriate, and weight tested restraints that adhere to a reasonable mandatory safety standards, for every piece of furniture and every TV sold instead, included with it when it's sold.  Why don't they do that?!   Everybody wins and kids have the potential to be safer! 

What it is going to take to stop tip-overs
We can stop kids from being injured and killed by furniture, TV, and appliance tip-overs.  Easily.  By securing the furniture and TV's and appliances to the wall.  So why is it still happening?

Because it is going to take a coordinated effort by all involved parties to take the risk seriously.  Until everyone including parents, educators, regulatory bodies, retailers, manufacturers, and consumers are aware of the dangers, begin to take the issue of tip-over seriously and all do their part to educate, inform, and prevent, kids are going to keep dying.  The current state of awareness and compliance is not acceptable. We all need to work together for the greater good of all of our children.  

The Answer?
So to answer my own question... We are all responsible.  Everyone from parents and end consumers to the regulatory agencies, manufacturers and everyone in between needs to do their part.  We need to work together for the greater good.  

Here is my call to action: 
This is not about what's best for whose bottom line.  It's not about how to get around the standard that does exist because it's only voluntary.  It's not about bad vs. good.  This is about safety.  This is about saving lives.  The lives of our children.  We have warnings on plastic bags.  We have laws about seat belts in cars and car seat use.  This is no different.  We've identified a very real danger to children that is taking lives needlessly.  We know how to prevent it.  Slowly, people are becoming more aware and some of them are taking the proper steps to make their homes safer.  Many more are still not aware or simply don't believe in the danger.  

Preventable accidents are the #1 cause of death to children.  We can easily reduce the number of children being injured and killed by tip-overs if everyone focuses on the end goal.  It's about the children.  It's about keeping them safe.  It's about education and prevention.  We need to get the information and the tools into the hands of the consumers who then need to follow through and actually secure the furniture. 

What do we need to do?
The agencies that make policy, manufacturers, retailers and perhaps even lawmakers need to stop their bickering, posturing, political game playing and cut the red tape. Kids are dying while you are padding your profits and dragging your feet on creating standards/laws that could protect children.  Why does it have to take so long?  It's not rocket science.  

Regulatory bodies need to set standards based on standardized testing.  They need to be mandatory and they need to apply to all furniture and all anchors/restraints.  

The manufacturers need to make safe furniture that comes with warning labels, appropriate weight-tested restraints with clear, easy to understand, and appropriate installation instructions.  If that means we have to make laws or mandatory standards for them to actually comply, then so be it.  I don't understand why it takes that much time and effort (and it takes forever) to change these safety requirements and why they seem not to care about the lives of children, but until it's their kid or grandchild that dies, they probably won't ever *get* it... it's so sad that's what it takes for so many people to wake up to the dangers and motivate them to do something to prevent it.

Stores and retailers need to educate consumers about the dangers of tip-over by securing display furniture and TV's properly, selling third-party restraints like those made by Safety 1st, KidCo, and others, and having informational posters or pamphlets displayed with the furniture and TV's to alert and educate consumers.  Displaying and selling furniture and TV straps right along with other childproofing supplies should happen everywhere childproofing supplies are sold.  Straps should also be displayed and available for purchase next to furniture and TV's that are for sale, and store employees trained to educate consumers on the importance of using them to safely secure TV's and furniture to the walls.  

Consumers need to take these warnings seriously and use the restraints to secure their furniture, TV's and even appliances properly.  They need to share this information with family and friends.  

Hospitals and pediatricians need to give this information on tip-over prevention to parents just like they give other important child safety information when they have their well-child visits or at any other teachable moment.  

Those in a position to educate parents in any capacity such as pre-school or elementary school teachers, childbirth educators, CPR and First Aid instructors, WIC, health insurance companies, urgent care centers, and child care facilities, should at a minimum, provide an informational brochure or pamphlet about these dangers such as the one I've designed for Meghan's Hope and ideally, offer educational seminars for parents where they can learn about all aspects of child safety.

The media needs to follow up and do their part in reporting not only when a child is injured or killed, but what can be done to prevent it and where to find anchoring devices and more information.  Doing public interest stories on news or talk shows watched by parents and grandparents about Meghan's Hope and tip-over prevention has the power to help so many more people than the latest cute animal videos can.  

Parents hold the ultimate responsibility.  Your kids are, after all, your kids.  You are in the end the only one responsible for their care.  While yes, all of the previously mentioned entities have a role and a responsibility, there is currently no law or requirement that they do the right thing.  Even if they do, when you put that new piece of furniture together or your new TV arrives, even if it comes with an anti-tip restraint, you have to be the one to actually use it to secure it to the wall.  Furniture, TV's and appliances don't secure themselves.  It is up to you in the end to take the appropriate steps to protect your children. 

You must educate yourself and take the necessary and proper steps to protect your children from the things you can protect them from, like tip-overs. No parent can protect their child from everything, but this, you can.  We have an awesome responsibility as parents to balance keeping our kids safe with allowing them to learn, grow, and explore their world.  By making their environment safer, we allow them to do that work of being a child - play - in a safer world. Our gift is in watching them grow older and perhaps, one day gift us with grandchildren.  

I will never see my little girl graduate, get married, or do all the things I imagined and hoped she would.  Because she died under her dresser while we slept.  No child deserves that fate.  No parent should ever have to live with that pain.  I don't have a choice.  You do.  Because of Meghan and her hope, you do...

My goal is to work with all of these elements and protect the lives of kids.  My position is one of education and advocacy.  I am Meghan's voice.  I am the voice of the children whose lives were cut short from a tip-over.  I am the voice of their parents who say the same thing I do.  We don't want it to ever happen again.  

Clearly, I can't do it alone. Together, though, we can stop the tip-over epidemic. 

Let's do this. 

By now, you've seen the Nationwide SuperBowl ad for #makesafehappen and have heard the chatter about it.  What did you think about it?  It has certainly stirred up a lot of controversy and definitely got people talking! It was a powerful and emotional ad and the purpose was to raise awareness about the preventable accidents that take the lives of children every day. It was about child safety and about the new child safety initiative called Make Safe Happen.

Many people were upset that such a somber ad about a child who couldn't grow up to do all the things kids do because he died from a preventable accident was aired during the SuperBowl. They were upset that they were blindsided by an ad that was not funny and that it ruined their "buzz."  Many who took offense thought the ad was trying to sell life insurance simply because it was presented by Nationwide, and that doing so by making an ad about a dead child was horribly wrong. They were so shocked that many didn't see the link to the make safe happen website at the end.  Or if they did, they probably didn't go to it to see what it was about. Instead of actually taking the time to process the ad and what it's message actually was, instead of going to the Make Safe Happen website to see what it was all about, they took their knee-jerk reaction  and assumption that it was solely about selling insurance as gospel and preached it.  You know what they say about assuming, right?  

Why so Many Missed the Point of the Ad
Unfortunately those people who were upset largely missed the point. Perhaps because the ad elicited such a powerful emotional reaction and one they were ill-equipped to handle.  That speaks to an entirely different issue about our discomfort in talking about death, especially death to children, but that is another post for another time.

Nationwide was not trying to sell insurance with that ad. Insurance doesn't save lives. Nationwide is trying to educate.  They wanted to inform an audience of millions of parents that preventable accidents are the leading cause of death to children.  Knowing what the dangers in and around your home are, knowing what you can do to prevent the accidents that could take your child's life,and being pro-active about doing them to making safe happen is what saves lives.  

THAT is what Nationwide was "selling." They are "selling" a free resource for child safety called Make Safe Happen. They are giving you resources to help you protect your kids so you never, ever have to know what bereaved parents like me knows. So that you never have to live with the pain we live with every day because we couldn't protect our kids, because we didn't know or believe that what killed them was a danger or how to prevent it.  

I do hope that once their initial shock wears off, those who reacted so strongly and negatively are able to go to the make safe happen website and see what it is all about.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I'm all for free choice, but I am a staunch believer in informed choice.  So before you judge a book by it's cover, read the pages inside the book. Visit the website and see what it has to offer.  Whether you agree with how it was presented during the Superbowl or not, the information is tremendously valuable for parents everywhere.

For Those Who Think the Ad was "too much"  or a "buzzkill" for the SuperBowl
To those who still think the ad was "too much" for the SuperBowl viewing audience or those who complain the ad made them uncomfortable.  Consider this.  What you felt for those few seconds when you realized that boy in the ad died is exactly how it feels when your child dies suddenly and unexpectedly from a preventable accident.  You feel blindsided. You are in shock. You are angry. You are downright furious that your life as you knew and expected it to be was suddenly and unexpectedly "ruined."  You may have felt all those things about the very thought of a child dying when you saw this ad. The boy in the ad was one you don't even know! Imagine what it's like to actually be the parent of that boy in the ad.  For one minute, just imagine if it were you... does that help you shift your focus? Nationwide does not want you to ever know what it feels like to be the parent of that boy.  They want your kids to grow up to live long healthy lives. 

Unlike those who were upset by the ad, who complained about it to their friends or took to social media to express their anger that Nationwide ruined their SuperBowl, and then went back to watching the game and resumed their regularly scheduled lives, parents who have lost a child, especially to an accident that could have been prevented, live with that "buzzkill" their entire lives.  They never get to resume their life as they knew or wanted it to be.  They had to bury their child.  They have to learn to live without the most precious thing in the world, their child.  They are reminded of their child every day and every where.  They are reminded of what they don't have, and you do.  They don't want you to know the pain they do.  Neither does Nationwide, their partner Safe Kids, or any of their other expert partners in child safety.  We want to teach you how to protect your kids so you don't ever have to know what it's like to lose a child to something you could have prevented.

We know that in the time it took that 45 second spot to air, at least one child died from a preventable accident.  If you do the math, that's 60 children every hour!  In the approximately 4 hours it took for the 4 quarters of the SuperBowl to be played, 12 children were victims of tip-over accidents alone!

So What is Make Safe Happen Really About?

Make Safe Happen is about addressing the fact that preventable accidents are #1 killer of children. Nationwide was starting a conversation that I have been trying to get started for ten years.  And it sure did get a conversation started!  Sometimes you have to shock people out of complacency to get them to pay attention and to listen to the messages they don't want to hear. Messages they need to hear.  Their child's life may literally depend on it. 

In a longer PSA, Nationwide explains their Make Safe Happen campaign here.  Their ad was a wake up call and parents need to answer it. Nationwide has a long history of commitment to child safety and a 60 year relationship with Nationwide Children's Hospital and their leading child safety expert physicians and researchers at their Center for Injury Research and Policy. Nationwide is not doing this alone. They have also partnered with Safe Kids Worldwide and leading child safety experts in key areas of child safety including myself at Meghan's Hope, The Safety Mom, The Zac Foundation, Parents for Window Blind Safety and The National Drowning Prevention Alliance. Together, we are all committed to making parents aware of potential dangers to their children and teaching them how to prevent them from happening.  

The Make Safe Happen website is an interactive and easy to use site that allows you to search for safety information and tips about common and little known dangers in and around the home.  You can search by the age of the child, the room of the home, or the safety category such as water safety, poisoning, tip-overs and falls, or outdoor play.  You will find statistics, safety checklists, and safety tips.  Visit it today.  Explore the different ways to search for safety tips.  Share it with other parents you know.

There is a also free downloadable app for IOS and Android with a similar interface that also allows you to make a list of things you need to do or buy to make your home safer and is a fantastic reference to have when you are out and about with your child or shopping for child safety devices and supplies.  Download it and give it a try!  

None of us knows everything.  We cannot protect our children from everything, but the things we can protect them from, we should.  Accidents can be prevented.  Thinking it can't or won't happen to us does not make our kids safer. Learning what we can do to make our homes and our children safer and then doing it, is what makes our kids safer. Together, we can make safe happen! 

Disclaimer:  While all opinions stated here are my own, I am a paid spokesperson for Nationwide and the Make Safe Happen Campaign and have received financial, material, or other compensation for promoting the Make Safe Happen Campaign.